she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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