I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
