you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know her cup size but not her name....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
