So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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