Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
