So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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