I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
