I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
