He is like the real live version of the state fair..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
