If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
...so i touched it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
