I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
