All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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