i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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