just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
