Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize