I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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