"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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