You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
