btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
