Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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