I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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