Duck Duck Cougar?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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