margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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