I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
