i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
