I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
