everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
