sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday