I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!