Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.