Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
