Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
