you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize