I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize