so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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