Me too!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
