Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I FOUND THE LEGS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
