The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
