I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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