He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
