Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
