gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
