Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
