And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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