I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
