in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
