Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize