its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
