I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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