Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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