absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
