Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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