Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
