I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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