You're completely useless in the revolution.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
