I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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