i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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