So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
