so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
