VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My ass is underappreciated
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
